Please Comes More Naturally Than Thank You

Does it seem sometimes that all your kids do is ask for this and ask for that? Picture Heathcliff Huxtable on “The Cosby Show.” Cliff assumes that whenever his kids are nice to him, it’s only because they want something! And the kids rarely let him down.

The art of asking seems to come more naturally than the skill of being thankful. It’s no wonder when so much of our culture is preoccupied with keeping up with the Joneses. Kids need to be trained to appreciate what they have.

Easier said than done, right? Here are some helpful ways to cultivate appreciation in your kids:

Give your kids fewer extras. If your kids aren’t happy with what they’ve got, maybe they can’t handle the responsibility of having more! It’s like getting a camel through a needle’s eye to get a rich man into heaven, right? Likewise, it’s hard to encourage thankfulness when kids get whatever they want and don’t understand the value of a gift. If kids aren’t given so much, they’ll naturally appreciate what they have more. Children may also need to learn the value of money and how your family creates a budget.

Relish anticipation. How many piles of long-forgotten toys does your family have? How long did it take your child to get bored of a gift? Things just aren’t as glossy after we’ve received them, are they? There’s great joy to be had in anticipation!  Help your kids feel that joy. You can teach your kids patience and budgeting. If your children just can’t wait to have something, help them budget for it. Give them an allowance or reward them for chores. Maybe even offer to match the money they save. They’ll enjoy the waiting period and feel ownership of what they’ve earned.

Teach your family about trade-offs. The new doll that showed up in your daughter’s room or those soccer lessons for your son don’t just come free, right? Do your kids know that? Do your kids understand that there isn’t a magic money tree you harvest on their behalf (or ATM, for that matter)? It may seem silly to hear, but kids may not understand that gifts require sacrifice. Drive that point home with your kids. Give them choices that illustrate they can’t have it all. Explain to Emma that she can’t get another toy this season if she gets the tea set. Tell Matt that if he picks the baseball league, he can’t join football in the fall, too.

Set the tone. Is your husband just drooling over the latest car model with all the gadgets? Are you envious of Carrie and how she always has the cutest clothes? Are these content attitudes to model to your kids? Watch your heart. If kids see you dreaming about the new next thing to make your life better and easier, your kids are probably going to start handing your behavior right back to you!

Help them see how the other half lives. It’s hard to be grateful for material blessings without a frame of reference. Your kids need to see the rarity and value of what they have. Take your kids to a local soup kitchen or food pantry. For older kids, consider taking a mission trip overseas. America is materially blessed beyond belief when compared to the Third World. Your kids will appreciate the perspective. They’ll also appreciate learning how to put others first.

Show that blessings don’t just come in one size. When we think of gratefulness, we usually think of “things,” right? Help your kids remember that it’s not just physical blessings that they have. Remind kids of health, home and humor—all blessings when you think outside the box!

Help your kids model gratitude. Kids don’t innately know to write a courteous thank you note or share encouragement for a sibling’s random act of kindness. Teach them how to actively be grateful! This help can come by modeling it in your own life and by giving practical tips. If the lesson is writing thank you notes, don’t let your kids use the gift until the appropriate people have been thanked.

To praise God is a command, not a suggestion. Remind your kids that we don’t just give praise to honor God, but thankfulness is something God requires of us. If everything were taken away from us and we became like a modern-day Job, we should still give praise because we know the Father. Go over verses that address praise, such as Hebrews 13:15-16, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Psalm 47 and 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

Praise God for who He is. It’s easy to just think to give God praise for His actions on our behalf. After all, God tangibly shows His love and compassion for us through blessing and provision, right? But we’re missing out if we don’t praise God simply for who He is. Praise God for His character, His goodness, righteousness, mercy, and on and on! Help your kids make a list or picture of God’s personality. This exercise will help kids understand that God’s faithfulness is not based upon circumstance.

For more tips on helping kids appreciate what they’ve got, check out Christian Parenting Today.