Fair Play

Have you ever left a football game red-faced, head hung in shame, because your team player sulked after the loss, yelled at the ref and threw his jersey up in the air?

Even more embarrassed because it was your husband?

Kids have a lot to learn about fair play in the world of sports. There’s no one better to teach them than us, their parents. Make sure that you and your spouse have an attitude game plan first!

Sports can have:
      • the good—exercise, team building, friendships, role models
      • the bad—injuries, distraction from schoolwork, busyness
      •  the ugly—poor sportsmanship, obsession with winning, over-involvement.

How can parents steer their kids toward good and away from ugly? Here are some helpful hints:

Let your child choose which activity he or she will participate in. But allow for only one at a time. If your entire family is overwhelmed carting Cody off here and Madison off there, how can anyone really enjoy the sports experience?

Let your child choose when to start and stop participating in a sport. Were you a dancer growing up? Was your husband a baseball player? Have each of you envisioned that your children will win all the trophies or get an amazing college scholarship? Sports aren’t about parents fulfilling our dreams or even about controlling our children. Sports are meant for fun, friendships and fulfillment.

Always praise your child, whether it’s a win or a loss. Your child should have confidence in your unwavering love, whether he pitched a no-hitter or struck out all four times at the plate. If you are critical of your child after a loss and only praise wins, what are you teaching him about life? Worse, what are you teaching about God’s affections?

Teach your child personal accountability. Whether your child has a rotten or record-breaking performance, make sure that she knows it’s her performance. Your child needs to take responsibility for her actions and not blame teammates, the coach or the refs—or the weather!

Evaluate the coach. Coaches can be incredible role models and encouragers to your children. A few bad apples can also be overbearing, highly critical and borderline abusive. Make sure to be involved in your child’s activity so you can filter what he is learning. Confront the coach, if need be, and, in extreme situations, be prepared to pull your child off the team.

Help your children build memories. Maintain a healthy perspective on sports so you can help your children think positively and clearly. Very few athletes ever make it to the professional, let alone college, level. Your children will have opportunities as youth and teenagers that won’t come along again. Help them savor it.

Don’t let sports get in the way of spiritual activities. What’s increasingly becoming one of the biggest sports days of the week? You guessed it—Sunday. It can create a lot of conflict. Churches are losing congregants for the sake of the team. Make sure that your entire family knows that sports will not boot out going to church or any other religious activity. Make the coaches aware of your policy beforehand and don’t waver.

Relate lessons from the Bible. Children can learn a lot of good stuff from sports—respect for authority, sharing with others, keeping the Golden Rule. Sound familiar? Those are biblical concepts. Help your children see God as an active part of their entire day, including extracurricular activities.

Now, ready, set, go! You’re on your way to building strong competitors with healthy attitudes.