Morals Mirror

It’s difficult to raise kids in the way they should go—loving the Lord, respecting authority, honoring their parents. Children are natural imitators. How else would they learn to speak or to eat or to do much of anything at all?

Children can imitate their peers, their video games or their favorite TV star. And how would you think they’d turn out? Not entirely like you’d hoped, right?

Kids will learn morals through imitation and you, as parents, are in charge. So, what can you do to control copy-cat content?

Parents, we must know what we stand for first. And we must model it faithfully. What do you think about borrowing your friend’s computer software to download onto your computer? What do you think about fudging your child’s age to get a cheaper movie ticket? What do you think about ignoring a call because your mother-in-law is on Caller ID? How you answer those questions will likely become how your child answers them.

Parents, share your moral beliefs with your children. Don’t worry, this won’t be too hard. They’ll ask why! But also take the opportunity to explain tough decisions. Children need to be taught right and wrong. When you have to pause a few minutes to think over right and wrong, imagine what value that thought process could have to your children!

Parents, know your children well. Monitor their behavior, their friends, their natural interests. Children need a filter and they need boundaries—you can help! You need to have a running dialogue with your kids about moral issues. I know you’ve heard this before, but tackle the tough stuff with kids. Go through sex, lying, drugs, cheating and every sticky little thing with them. Believe it or not, they’ll learn it all eventually, and you’d much rather them hear your message.

Parents, encourage your children to be assertive. Note the word is assertive, not aggressive. There’s a big difference. You want your child to have confidence. You want your child to walk with his head held high, standing up straight and looking people in the eye. It’s easier for peers to believe that your children have a strong moral backbone if they look the part.

Parents, ask your children about their reasoning behind decisions they make. Play the devil’s advocate a little bit and help them think things through. As adults they will face second-guessing and others’ doubts, so they need to be ready to stick up for their decisions. Your goal is to help them stand up to pressure when you’re not by their side.

Parents, get your kids plugged into a good local church. Does this list sound daunting? Good news! The church is there to help in the moral and spiritual development of your children. Get your kids into an age-appropriate ministry and watch your family’s good teaching be validated and encouraged.

Really all of this is meaningless moralizing if we don’t believe in absolute truth. Parents, give your kids the ultimate moral compass—a foundation in Jesus Christ. Jesus is our anchor, rock, shield and moral example. We are called to be imitators of Christ. Use Jesus as a mirror.

If you’d like help in raising kids with a solid moral center, we recommend Raising Kids to Love Jesus by Norm Wright and Gary Oliver. The book will give you the tools to help your children become lifelong followers of Christ.