Appropriate Conduct, Touching and Contact – Kids Fifth Grade and Younger

1.0 General
APPROPRIATE	INAPPROPRIATE
1.1 Minimum of two unrelated adults in line of sight or close proximity to each other at all times when involved with children’s activity.	1.2 Adults alone with a child.
1.3 Another adult present or involved in any contact with child of same or opposite sex; no private one-on-one meeting or contact with child is permitted.	1.4 Meeting, conference, travel or other activity with same or opposite sex minor without supervision or witness.
1.5 Proper number of adults-to-participant ratio for the age of the children and the activity. One adult to 4 - 6 children are recommended for this age group.	1.6 Inadequate number of volunteers and staff for the activity.
1.7 Respecting the privacy of children in bathroom situations and intruding only to the extent necessary for assistance requested by the child or for health or safety reasons.	1.8 Entering the bathroom with a child that doesn’t need assistance or is not in any peril.
2.0 Discipline
APPROPRIATE	INAPPROPRIATE
2.1 Praising and encouraging good behavior.	2.2 Corporal punishment; treatment that is demeaning or intended to embarrass or harass the recipient
2.3 A firm yet gentle voice addressing the “offense”. Making eye contact with the child when delivering instructions.	2.4 Any words or tone that would cause a child to think he or she, rather than a specific behavior, is the “problem”. 2.4.1 Any words that could cause feelings of condemnation or shame in a child about any aspect of their person, including racial or ethnic comments.
2.5 Age appropriate time outs (about 1 minute per age of the child) in the “Timeout Chair.” Confidential parental discussion when necessary.	2.6 Any physical disciplinary contact, such as grabbing the child, unless the child or others are in immediate danger.
2.7 If these methods are unsuccessful, call your supervisor to handle the situation. Otherwise, the unwanted behavior may be reinforced and draw attention away from the rest of the group.
3.0 Physical Contact
APPROPRIATE	INAPPROPRIATE
3.1 Non-demanding, gentle touch of the shoulder, hand, arm, head, or back.	3.2 Kissing; demanding hugs and/or kisses; opposite sex piggy-back rides.
3.3 Sitting the child on one knee (only appropriate at preschool or kindergarten level).	3.4 Sitting the child in center of the lap; sitting the child between the legs; sitting a child above age 6 on the lap - one or both legs.
3.5 Physical contact which expresses affirmation and is not done for the satisfaction or pleasure of the adult.	3.6 Touching chest, genital area, upper legs, buttocks, stomach; seductiveness or suggestive contact
3.7 Shoulder to shoulder hug expressing support or congratulations.	3.8 Full, front-of-the-body hug.

4.0 HUGS — When a child asks for a hug, it shows there is a relational connection between the two people and that the child has an obvious trust in the adult. The main point about giving hugs is that they need to be mutual. If there is any hesitation or resistance from the young person, the hug doesn’t happen.

5.0 LAP SITTING — Children in first grade or above do not sit on the lap of an adult. Children can sit beside the adult on the chair or floor. Children kindergarten-age and younger may want or need the security of being held. If a child of this age positions himself/herself on a lap, gently pick the child up by the waist and set the child on one knee. This also leaves the other knee open for the next child that may come along. At no time will a child sit in the center of a lap or between the legs, regardless of the gender of the adult.

7.0 BATHROOM PROCEDURES — Permission to use the bathroom needs be requested by children. An adult needs wait outside the bathroom door in plain view of others after the adult has checked to see if any adults are already in the bathroom. If the bathroom has private stalls and no open urinals and there is an adult using the bathroom, the adult should be asked to leave as soon as possible so the child can use the bathroom in private. For situations in which children require assistance (very young children or children with medical conditions), an adult and assistant of the same sex as the child, if possible, would always be present.

6.0 CONTACT OUTSIDE USUAL MINISTRY FUNCTIONS — Generally there is no contact of adults with minors outside the normal ministry function if they are younger than 5th grade. An exception to this can be made ahead of time with agreement of the child’s parents. An example of this would be a leader who wants to telephone his or her clubbers. Adults do not contact children younger than 5th grade via electronic means. Leaders are not advised to pick up or drop off younger children unless it is prearranged with the parents and there are two adults present with the children at all times.